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Bismillahi ar-rahmani ar-rahim

By calling Ibrahim (as) to believe and obey, Allah changed the history of humankind. The iman (faith) which He planted in His prophet was the first ray of dawn, shining brightly to end the long dark night of the first Jahiliyyah.

Obedience comes at a cost. Try to imagine the day Ibrahim was called to follow Al-Wahid (the One). It was one thing for him to say: La illaha il-Allah to himself. It was a whole different matter to confess the same before his people and, especially, before his father Tarah.

One of the principles which Allah teaches His servants of all generation is to honor one’s parents. Many people believe and enforce the view that honoring parents is equal to blindly obeying whatever they say. Imagine what would happen if Ibrahim (as) believed in and acted upon this distorted idea which many Muslims enforce so harshly. The whole world would remain lost in Jahiliyyah.

This is why Al-Hakim (the Wise) gave us not one, but three principles by which to balance the relationships between generations.

Obedience to Allah

Obedience to parents

The precedence of marriage over other ties and obligations

In the 1^st of the 10 commandments, which He gave through Musa (as) to all generations of mu’minun (believers), Allah states the first principle clearly.

Tawrat, Exodus 20:1-3

And God spoke all these words: “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. “You shall have no other gods before me.

The 5^th of the 10 commandments, defines just as clearly the second principle.

Tawrat, Exodus 20:12

Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

The third, so often overlooked principle was not revealed through Musa (as). It was given right from the beginning, at the creation of the very first human couple. Allah, knowing how we people struggle to keep family relationships in the right balance, made sure that nobody in future could say: “Oh, that was only valid for Bani Israil.” Notice that Allah created a married couple before He made them parents and gave them children. Marriage came first. That is why marriage and the relationship between a husband and a wife are the most important and deserve the most attention – even more than obedience to parents or love and care for children. All of these are gifts from Allah, and all are important. But first things most come first.

Speaking to Adam and Hawa, Allah defined relationships to fathers and mothers even before there were any fathers, mothers and children. It is clearly divine will for all people of all times.

Tawrat, Genesis 2:22-24

Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

Do you submit to Allah?

Do you honor your father and mother?

Do you treat your spouse (if you are married) with the love and respect they deserve?